I Just Saw The Craziest...

    I have seen a lot of crazy things in my lifetime, but perhaps the craziest took place at a small intersection in my hometown of Glendale, CA. The intersection was empty as I approached from the south. As I pulled to a stop, a car coming from the east also stopped. It signaled to turn left onto my street. Somewhere in all this a dog came trotting down the road, also from the east, and began crossing the street right in front of me.

      I      I
      I      I
------I      I------

              Car #2
------I  DogI------
      I   MeI
      I      I
      I      I

    Well, I can't move because the dog is right in front of me. This guy gets his car out into the intersection and begins turning. There's no way he can finish, though, because the dog is trotting along and will be in front of him in a second. This guy honks his horn and jerks on the accelerator and pushes his way in front of the dog. The dog decides he doesn't desire a career as hood ornament. He stops to let the car-driving bipedal fool pass.
    So far so good, I suppose. Forcing his way past the animal instead of waiting three seconds for it to pass might show a lack of intelligence, but hardly anything more. Now comes the crazy.... It's not enough for this guy to barge past the dog, no, he has to pull right along side the dog, stop, lean out the window, and start screaming at the dog!
    Think about this a second. The guy is in such a hurry he can't wait three seconds for the animal to pass, but he has plenty of time to stop and spend 10 seconds screaming at an animal that can't even understand him. And the dog...! Have you ever seen someone get an expression on their face like "You have got to be f----ing kidding!!"? This dog had exactly that expression. He's waiting there, looking up at this guy like, "What is your problem, numbnuts?"
    Finally the guy gets tired of yelling at the dog, slams on his accelerator -- tires squeal, exhaust spews, car jerks forward -- and the dog gives the guy a parting glance then continues on its way, seemingly unfazed.

    And that is the craziest thing I have ever seen.


Analysis

    Let me break into my own article for a moment here and append an analysis.

1. The smartest individual in the whole incident is the dog. He even crossed at the crosswalk when he had right of way!
2. As I chronicled the end of the incident it occurred to me: How many humans would have just stood there letting this guy yell at them? Wouldn't most humans in this day started yelling back? At least commented somehow?
3. Along that line, it would not be unheard of for two humans in the same circumstances to get out and start beating each other in the middle of the street. One of them might pull a weapon and there could be a murder right there in the crosswalk, and most people, hearing it on the evening news -- if the news even bothered with such a trivial story -- wouldn't even shake their head at it. The most reaction such news might get would be a variation on "What's wrong with people these days?" or "Well., that's just the way it is these days. You never do know."

     Honestly, the dog comes out of this thing looking great. We human beings on the other hand... Whew!


Los Angeles, CA
March 20th, 1999