“Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?”
– lyrics to “Linger,” by The Cranberries
I felt better a week ago. It’s into the third week and I’m still fighting this thing. I feel like reheated crap on a stick. Most of today I spent sleeping on and off. As I laid here thinking this afternoon, I couldn’t believe how awful I feel this far in. Most people get sick, they’re BLAH for a week and then they recover. With me, it lingers.
I first noticed this around age 13 when both my father and I got sick. We’d just switched to new health insurance — my first experience with big, bad HMOs — and, as a result, a new doctor. My father quickly recovered and returned to work. At first, I appeared to be on the same track, then suddenly I got worse. It seemed to me like I’d gotten sick again. I ended up being sick two weeks to his one.
That’s the first time I noticed it, but given my health difficulties up to then, I’m sure it wasn’t the first time it happened. After that, I watched it happen time and again.
That’s exactly how it went down this time. By the first Monday, less than a week in, I seemed pretty much over it. I still coughed up gunk, but gunk increasingly thinner and lighter in color. I thought I was out of the woods. All weekend, I’d marveled at the speed of my recovery. Then it went south. By Wednesday, I felt awful again. Here it’s almost another Wednesday later, and I’m no better.
Right now, I’m inclined to blame the infection. I’m prone to getting infections when sick, and I’m thinking that is a large contributor to the lingering.
I tried to get away without taking antibiotics. I do not like taking pills. In my 20’s, I frequently let my body fight infections off on its own. This time it’s not going away. I’ve given in and started the antibiotics, and I’m a little distressed and disappointed my body wasn’t able to get rid of this infection itself.
Tags: Gene Nash, illness, sickness
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